'Autumnal' 2020

 

I read Rimbaud today, oh boy -

 

I read Rimbaud today, oh boy

About an unlucky man who made the grade

And though the rhyme was often sad

I just had to breathe

Having read ‘The Tease’

I had to turn my mind …

MJH - September, 2020

A short story by Michael Hill

Finding it, solving it, living it.

A cool kind of blue seemed to describe what he was seeing. It was soon dark and with it he feared he would be left to himself and he knew from experience that was not safe. How to feel it seemed always to be the fundamental problem but there were countless other difficulties that he constantly confronted and tonight seemed no different. Why is it that the ordinary takes priority over the real issue? Laziness, he supposes … do what is in front of you and brighter in your eyes rather than deal with the shadows in your mind, the things that are off to the side.

With the passing of those thoughts the blue was already gone and only patches of grey lined the horizon and shaped the trees and lake in front of him. Black and white would be easier he mused, grey was the problem of course. Joseph had always known that the lake would be the place where he found it and solved it. However, there was little warmth yet and more to be done. It wasn’t a case of deciding where to start because he knew already there was no beginning. He wasn’t even sure if there would be an ending? What to do at any given time about it he had concluded is about energy and attitude and distractions. The right proportions are essential and even distraction is needed in a measured and timely way. He had not seen in any sustained way that magical place … only glimpsing it from time-to-time although that was enough and it kept him coming back. Joseph often claimed that his only enduring trait was curiosity although he was credited by others as having more. He didn’t seem to care or need their praise and usually shrunk from it when it was offered … shyness perhaps, perhaps not? He reasoned that it wasn’t relevant anyway and wouldn’t help with finding it.

Idleness is, a friend of, maybe a prerequisite to the pursuit of it and Joseph had time on his hands now. You had to be sure though that the distractions of idleness didn’t overwhelm the quest. It was too easy to see them as reprieves when really they were quest busters. Peace of mind was not the same as the lack of stress that sometimes accompanies idleness and Joseph believed it was all about finding peace of mind. The glimpses of it had shown him that idleness only provided a useful means for having time to chase after the peace. “Maybe it wasn’t so much as chase, as follow” Joseph concluded. Curious people are often alone with their thoughts and comfortable in them. Thinking is not being idle although it might appear to be that to those observing.

MJH - November, 2009

"I think that I shall never see ..."